I love the library.
usually I love the library.
today I’m searching for a book to accompany on my journey.
I just want something inspiring. something interesting. something good.
but I can’t find anything.
maybe I should just walk through the shelves and just pick something up?
I’m completely resolved not to read something I’ve already read before.
I’m completely open to suggestions.
please help?
1 quitting that dead end job feels like the first step in creating a new life for myself. I unofficially have a new job. I’ll be graduating with my AA in psychology in December. I haven’t officially decided yet, but I think I want to move to phoenix in January. I feel like I’m finally doing what I said I would. I think I’m finally living the way I always wanted to live. without fear. without remorse. without limitation. as stress free as humanly possible.
I’m already thinking about what I’ll miss when I move to phoenix. my mom. my brother. my dad. my granny. my great grandma. my friends. the rain. the snow. thunderstorms.
but I think thats one of the things that I like most about myself. I don’t need a lot of physical material things to make me happy. Almost everything that I love I can take with me. even if I leave the east coast with nothing with the clothes on my back, I can find a way to be at peace. of course I’ll take all my junk and my junky car, and a friend to keep me company but the peacefulness, and the love, and the dreams, are all things I carry with me. all the good things I keep in my head.
I think thats the best way to live. that way, nobody can take anything away from you.
I wish I could just leave right now. I have my heart so set on moving. The only thing holding me back is this stupid apartment.
If I wasn’t so stuck with this stupid apartment, I would leave right now.
pack my tiny car with everything I own and drive five days straight until I got to Phoenix.
I hate it here. and the more I think about moving in with my aunt in Phoenix, the more I hate it here.
the weather. the people. my school. myself. the job I just quit.
I just want to be free.
not that running away to the desert will automatically equal freedom.
but I think I would like it a whole hell of a lot more out there, than here.
I feel like I’m armpit deep in quicksand and mud and that swamp from neverending story that the horse drowned in.
its awful.
but life is what you make it right?
maybe I should just suck it up and practice some patience until I can move.
..This is strangely inspirational.
hardcore wolf? I need him as a personal trainer.
(Source: dreamsofrunning, via thelittlekneesofbees)
(Source: waydhampton, via steampunkbubblewrap)
I feel the need to explain, even though I feel as if I’m the only one who cares at all about this.
There is a person in my life who I don’t want to call a friend, and also who I don’t not want to call a friend. maybe a friend of a friend? acquaintance seems too harsh.
anyways.
I was always kind of intimidated by her because she carries around this big mean presence with her everywhere she goes. I would like to think that I’m not nearly as shy as I used to be, but when I’m around her I feel like I have nothing good to say, and that nothing I say will affect her at all. I, like every other human being on this planet have this strange and uncontrollable urge to get other people to at least pretend they like you a little bit.
but all day, she spent her time, complaining, and being angry, and kinda yelling, and having anxiety and being upset.
It might sound strange but it really made me appreciate….me.
I realized that I learned how to cope well, and that I learned how to be a little bit more patient and graceful, than I had previously realized.
I’m not saying she had no reason to complain, or to be angry, but I think that she had all the anxiety and stress in the world, because of how she handled it. She couldn’t figure out why she was so angry, and she couldn’t figure out why her anxiety was so bad.
I know I’m just on the outside looking in, and I know that learning the delicate art of stress management is an incredibly long, ongoing process, but goodness gracious alive, no one is completely alone in life.
if there is any lesson i have learned in life, it is the value of being your own best friend. you have to care for and about yourself, you have to love yourself, you have to give yourself room to make mistakes, and fail, and fuck shit up, and forgive yourself and encourage yourself, and remind yourself of how far you’ve come.
all of the complaining I heard, was all about temporary things.
you are all on the road. we are on the road. we are alive.
if you are on the road, you have to be going somewhere.
stop stressing about temporary things. they will be gone soon. then you will have something new to think about.
I wouldn’t worry about things so temporary. theres too many other things that require my time and my energy and my life. keep stressing like that and you’ll have no life left to live.
aren’t you on the road? aren’t you already a traveller?
you have no confidence in yourself.
don’t you know who you are?
The world is so big and I am so small! who am I to traverse its length, to search out the corners of a round thing, to swim its seas, or to sit on its shore? I am nobody.
to yourself, you should be someone. you shouldn’t look at yourself only through the eyes of other people.
how can you be yourself and not love yourself? how can you be yourself, and only value other people?
aren’t you on the road?
you might be sitting on the road. you might be lying upon it. you might even be complaining, or looking for help, or watering it with your tears.
but you are on the road.
you must be going somewhere.
you have to get up and make choices, you have to get up and crawl, or walk, or run, or gallop, or sprint, or skip, or shuffle. but you will move.
even if you don’t see it now, you are moving, and have moved. if only you can see how far you have come! yet you soak yourself in your own tears, convinced you haven’t done anything with your life.
you are doing something with your life.
you are living.
don’t be so hard on yourself. this journey you are on starts with yourself.
and it starts with love.
I used to think I would grow out of it.
But its not like pants, or shoes, or shirts or other things that we buy and put on ourselves. or the places we put ourselves into.
it just was. it existed, and I endured it.
it was like the weather. constantly changing and never changing. affecting my life even when I didn’t notice it, or didn’t care to notice.
I hated it and still do.
but what can you do about something that you have no control over?
how do you accept the things in your life, who come univited, who invade without permission?
parrot plays mommy [video]
This warms my cold, dead heart.
The joys of a socialized parrot
(via thelittlekneesofbees)
(via Condescending Wonka)
I can’t for the life of me understand why any minority, knowing how often minorities are discriminated against, would oppose same-sex marriage.
I can’t for the life of me figure out how people keep pretending there are no Black LGBT folks while rushing to blame black people for legislation that they didn’t fund, write, or even all vote for in the first place. Not to mention if we’re going to talk about discrimination? Let’s talk about racism in LGBT commmunities. Ooh wait, no one wants to do that hunh?
No one is pretending there aren’t any black people in the LGBT community. I don’t think anyone is blaming black people for what happened in North Carolina either. Compared to other minorities however, the percentage of people that oppose same-sex marriage is much higher for blacks. 49% to be exact, while only 37% are in favor. I’m well aware of the racism in the LGBT community. There is racism everywhere, just like there is homophobia. No group of people will ever be completely free of either, but I do agree it needs to be discussed more openly.
Did you read the whole article you just linked? Like all the words? Because according to it 43% of white people are opposed. Do the math on the American population. Black people make up approximately 13%. White people? More than 70%. So, in real numbers that means that even if every black person everywhere voted in support of same sex marriage they still wouldn’t override white votes against it. And that assumes that all of the black people in the Pew study can vote (see stats for incarceration in black communities and remember that felons can’t vote), and completely ignores the fact that America consists of more than black & white people. People are definitely blaming (as happened in California courtesy of Dan Savage & some bad reporting) black people for Amendment One passing. We make a convenient scapegoat so no one has to talk about how much the Mormon church is spending, or what white conservatives are doing when they go to the polls. And that’s before we get into the lack of outreach to black churches by same sex marriage advocates. Guess who is reaching out to black churches? Same sex marriage opponents.
lets be real though, what power do black people have to oppress white gay people? they don’t own majority of the government, they aren’t passing legislation. They aren’t the ones in control of the homophobic,biphobic, transmisogynist media those are white people. Yet white queers are always bashing black community for being homophobic as if its not white people’s fault that the systems that perpetuated that homophobia and that the people who have the actual control in society are white straight people.
but of course lets attack all the homophobic niggers and shit because they aren’t as civilized as the good progressive white folks. Let’s not make non racist and tactful analysis on why homophobia and misogyny in PoC communities exist. Lets not get the QPoC to talk for themselves using their own experiences, since we are the ones who know about the isms in our community more than some random outsider, no lets not do that. God forbid anyone point out the racism in White queers, since being gay negates all privileges.
(via soaringaboveitall)
I can’t pinpoint when it started. a restlessness. a lie awake at night. a desire. a missing piece. I always say I just want to live. I just want to enjoy my life. and then I put my head down and keep on not enjoying it. waiting for my boat to come in, while standing in the desert. life isn’t going to happen to me here. life isn’t just going to find me when I’m ready. I’m ready now, and I’m going out to get my life. take hold of it, but not too tightly, but steadily, the way a person holds a living thing. I want to be both the living thing and the holder, the energy and the hands.
Last night I dreamt I was on a journey. My parents were with me, and my grandparents. we all had separate destinations, but we wanted to travel together. I kept following them but every place I went was empty. some places weren’t empty but didn’t have anything for me, but it had things for them. sometimes they would follow me, but then they didn’t get any closer to their destinies. we realized or at least I realized that I couldn’t follow them, and they couldn’t follow me. I had to go my own way, because I was never going to finish my journey and they were never going to finish their journey if we followed each other. We all had someplace to go, and something to do. it wasn’t a sad parting. we all knew that it was what had to be done.
I quit my job today. After a long 2 years of being talked down to, and disrespected, I took a lunch and never came back. It might have been the “young and stupid” thing to do, but I think everyone does it at least once in their lives. I’ll have no problem finding another job. I just have to keep applying. I don’t see the point in staying in an environment like that. It felt so liberating just to walk out, knowing I wouldn’t come back. It felt so good. I know I really left them hanging. A holiday weekend, and they are filming a commercial tomorrow in our store. but they have to learn that they can’t treat people like that. I’m happy to move on.
2 I can’t seem to remember what day it is. on thursday I thought it was Saturday. Today I thought it was Sunday. On Friday I woke up and thought I had to go to class.
nope. all wrong.
Maybe I’m just mentally rushing my life away. there’s a bunch of stuff I’m looking forward to.
like getting a new job. staying in Philly for a week for that class thing. getting all my pieces back from ceramics. going swimming. the summer in general.
or maybe I’m wrong again.
maybe I’m going crazy.
Leviticus 20:13:
If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
Nice try, Colbert.
Leviticus was written approximately 1400 years before Jesus’ birth.
Nice try, artemispotter.
Old Testament =/= New Testament. Seriously. Also, Leviticus also commands you to learn the Torah, which, if you’re getting Old and New confused, you clearly haven’t.
Not to mention the other ridiculous laws in Leviticus (and Deuteronomy, as well), including the following:
- No mixing of different types of fabric
- No having sex with a woman on her period
- Curse your mother or father? You must be killed
- Disabled people cannot worship God
- Stubborn children should be stoned.
So…. still want to argue how valid the OT is?
Also, in the Bible!=Jesus said it, anyway. Even in the NT, there are a lot of people who aren’t Jesus giving their opinions.
Truth.
Only if the words are in red (in many translations) does it mean that Jesus said it.
FWIW, the apostle Paul and I would not have been friends. Mortal enemies is more like it.
Hey, guys, remember that one time when Jesus declared Levitican law irrelevant?
The former regulation is set aside because it was weak and useless (for the law made nothing perfect), and a better hope is introduced, by which we draw near to God.
-Hebrews 7:18-19.
Having been Jewish for, you know, ever, I am endlessly amused at the Christian Right’s reliance on Leviticus. Even I, who didn’t understand the theological difference between Catholics and Protestants until I took a course on Christianity in college, knew that Jesus was totes anti-Leviticus.
Seriously, people…
^^^^^^^
howling
When people try to be snarky. And then get owned by an entire thread. It’s slightly awkward yet enjoyable to read.
oh white Jesus we sing of thee
(Source: drunkonstevphen)
(via can-we-get-much-higher)
